All I want for Christmas…
It’s been 270 days ago that I submitted my request to officially change my name and gender marker, but there is no hope in sight that my request will be processed anytime soon. As an otherwise passing trans woman it’s a constant source of frustration for me.
It’s been little over a year ago that I came out publicly on Facebook. The month leading up to it has been the hardest of my life. My life changed significantly since I did that. I finally feel comfortable with my body and with how people perceive me. Between losing my wife and having to switch jobs I had to sacrifice almost everything to become the person I was supposed to be, and live a happy life.
In Hungary changing the gender marker is linked to changing the first name, since we have a list of approved male and female names with no intersection between them. Because of that I’m currently living with a legal name that is in dissonance with my identity and even more importantly: with the way I look. In practice I use my real name, but for legal reasons I’m regularly forced provide my legal name and to come out as transgender in situations that are uncomfortable or even dangerous sometimes. Especially in a country where the right wing media is actively fear mongering against trans people and the LGBTQ community in general.
Unfortunately just a few month before my coming out the Hungarian government has stopped processing requests for gender marker changes. One of the two government offices involved claim that the existing process was in conflict with GDPR and that their involvement is not necessary anyway. The other one claims that they do need a consent from the aforementioned other office. So the process is stuck between these two offices, with them I’m stuck between two lives, and there seems to be no solution in sight.
I’m 39 years old, I don’t want to be in this legal limbo for years. So I decided to look for alternative options. Maybe if I move to another country it would solve the situation? Unfortunately to get a legal gender marker change all countries require the person to be a citizen, and getting citizenship is 5 years at least, usually more, and I can’t even move to another country right away.
So here is my plea: all I want for Christmas is a passport from any EU country with my real name (Ivett Ördög) and the correct gender marker (female) on it. Like many other trans people in Hungary, all I want for Christmas is my transition to be over, and my new life — my real life — to begin. So if you can help me, if you can help us, please do. If not by anything other then by sharing this message along on social media.
Merry Christmas to you all!
